BEARS FINAL 2025 SEASON PREDICTIONS AND RECORD
- bearclawupdates
- Sep 2
- 3 min read
Sitting in an airport bar on Sunday that was unconventionally loud while replacing the beer my body was so desperately trying to sweat out from the previous night was the only way my mushy brain could handle the Micah Parsons trade. The jukebox pumping “Don’t Go Chasing Waterfalls” by TLC felt more like a sign of the upcoming Bears season than I would have liked it to be. If there is a God, he is cruel with a wicked sense of humor.
If you haven’t seen The Gambler and His Cowboys on Netflix – go watch it, it’s a good show to get a taste of some football before the season starts. One of the memorable moments from the series was highlighting the Emmitt Smith contract dispute. Emmitt pushed Jerry to brink of changing the way business deals in the NFL were done. Micah Parsons fared a little differently. I guess the prickly bastard Jerry Jones had enough of the contract disputes he’s infamous for. Parsons was dealt to the dump known as Green Bay for a staggering $188 million with $120 million fully guaranteed. Caleb Williams’ life is probably flashing before his eyes.
I don’t know what else to say. The Packers got a hell of a deal and I think a lot of Chicago Bears fans are trying not to freak out. Please reach out to me if you’re a Bears fan unaffected. You should be very, very afraid. Click here for a video of Parsons highlights. Caleb might be toast.
Fuck.
SEASON PREDICTIONS PART 3:
Week 11 – Vs Steelers
WIN – Oh my God this is one is going to be satisfying. Aaron Rodgers’ smugness won’t save him in his ill fated return to Soldier Field. He’s an aging star who could barely live up to expectations at the end of his time in Green Bay and he won’t figure it out with Pittsburgh. Sacked 2+ times. I hate you Aaron, eat shit.
Week 12 - @ Eagles
LOSS – The eagles are too good. Not much to say here.
Week 13 - @ The Waste Management Stadium
LOSS – This one kills me to write, BUT, is based on historical data. We won by almost dumb luck last year. We have improved in the offseason (repeat off season champs, we’re kind of a big deal) so I could see myself changing my mind on this one. I do think that it is a really close game.
Week 14 – Vs Brownies
WIN – By this point in the season you’re getting a disjointed Cleveland Browns trying to find their identity. I think they either stick with Shedeur (and he’ll struggle like all rookie QB’s) or they’ll play musical chairs with the QB position. Either way I think they are a dysfunctional team this season.
Week 15 – Vs Packers
WIN – This one… this one is hard for me to “fully” believe after the Micah Parsons trade. I just think this is the game where it works for us. Purely a vibes based pick but I think we win in another tough battle with Green Bay.
Week 16 - @ 49ers
LOSS – Unlike the Packers, the 49ers continue to stay relevant and I think they go belt to ass on us. We’re playing an NFC champ favorite.
Week 17 – Vs Lions
WIN – I think this is my most controversial pick, this solidifies my opinion that we sweep Detroit. There is most likely a lot of analytics against me but we’re talking Week 17 here. A lot can change before week 17 (in our favor, maybe against the Lions too) and I don’t think the Lions live up to the standard they set last year.
That wraps up my full season prediction! Let’s take a look on what I have the Bears record as…
8-9
This is a shockingly reasonable take on the season. Is my frontal lobe developing? Could I see some predictions swapping… (e.g. sweep the Packers lose all to the Lions) Absolutely, but looking at this season prediction from a high level standpoint – I think 8 and 9 is pretty rational take on the Bears season. Now the question becomes “do you make the post season”? I answer that with a “do you think the Packers or the Lions win the division”? I think those are more plausible than the Bears winning the division. I’m gonna give a no to the playoffs but keep my fingers crossed behind my back…
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